Open RP Post

[forleaving]

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[threesecrets]

[Ronan sighs softly, because the sound of Adam's voice is comforting even if he doubts this is going to be an easy conversation. Kavinsky was inside and Ronan was sitting on the back porch for a bit of privacy, just because he knew that none of his friends had a great opinion of the other dreamer. His voice is soft when he answers, more like he's affected than trying to be discrete.]

I'm going to keep him. I mean, I guess we can fake his birth certificate and I think Declan knows a guy who sells social security numbers, though I'm sure he'll be a bitch about it.

[There's a pause, and there's something in his breath that's almost like hesitation, a little bit shy and hopeful.]

I didn't really mean to- I was in Lindenmere. But I can't-- Adam, it broke my heart when he died. It's probably part of why I was such a shitty boyfriend to you. But I had to tell you. I don't wanna hide him, not from you. We said friendship meant being honest about the important shit, right?

[He was nervous. Both about the idea that Adam might tell him to put him back or that this would ruin the very thing they'd been trying to build again. He wants to come down and visit him, or Adam to come up to the Barns, he wants them to get to know each other for real. Which he guesses is probably the real reason he called -- he didn't really need advice, he just wanted to know Adam would still be here.]

[forleaving]

[Adam hadn't really expected anything else. He wouldn't have expected Ronan to get rid of Kavinsky, not again. And besides, he wasn't a 'thing' to just get rid of. He was a person, maybe not the greatest person, but one all of the same.

He exhaled, not quite a sigh, just a noise of- relief? This could be really good for Ronan. Potentially. Of course, there were a dozen ways this could go wrong, but he wasn't going to bring any of them up. He was sure Ronan had already thought of at least half of them.]

I appreciate that you're telling me about this.

[He meant it, he really did. It was important to him that Ronan hadn't decided to keep this a secret or something.]

And don't be so hard on yourself.

Do you- is there anything I can do to help?

[Forging identification for an entire person didn't sound like it would be easy. Not that Adam could help with that aspect of things, exactly, but- it was the thought that counted, wasn't it?

After a moment, he added-]

I want you to be happy, Ronan. I always have.

[I hope he makes you happy, was what he really meant. And not in some sort of bitter ex-boyfriend way. He sincerely hoped Ronan could find happiness with Kavinsky.]

[threesecrets]

[Of course Ronan was aware of the ways that this could explode in his face, but he was trying to not focus on that for the moment. He was trying to just- breathe in what felt like a second chance, trying to believe that he might maybe deserve it. He smiles a little when Adam says that he appreciates Ronan telling him about it, and he doesn't sound upset about it, he isn't telling Ronan that this is a mistake, and he sighs in relief, some of the tension easing out of his shoulders.]

Well, I was thinking-- I know you have classes and stuff. But could you come visit over the weekend? It'd be good to see you, even if you can't stay long.

[He didn't know if that was the sort of help that Adam was offering, but it'd be nice to be able to see him, to be able to talk this through face-to-face, where Kavinsky could be part of the conversation. He imagined that as soon as the hospital was done running tests and assured that Proko wasn't going to fall back into the same coma he'd woken up from, that he'd want to come see Kavinsky. He didn't know if he'd forgive Ronan or not. He just hoped that he'd understand that Ronan had never meant for things to end the way that they had.

But he smiles again, a little bit fond as he looks in toward the house. He can't see Kavinsky from the window, but somehow just the idea of the boy existing here, in Ronan's childhood home, a place made for dreams and dreamers-- it made his skin warm.]

I am. I mean, who the fuck knows if it'll last, but-- I am. [There's a slight pause and then he adds to it.] I want you to be happy too, you know. You deserve it; someone that gets how good you are.

[forleaving]

[Adam'd had a feeling Ronan would ask him that. He'd been prepared for the possibility and had already been mentally working on arranging his schedule in a way that would let him have free time over the weekend.]

I could do that, yeah.

[Though if Ronan wanted him to talk to Kavinsky, too, Adam wasn't sure what he would say to him. They'd never really spoken before that disastrous summer and Adam wasn't sure they had much in common. But maybe they'd have more to talk about than he thought. He tried to keep an open mind about things.]

If he hurts you, I'll- [He'd...what? He struggled to think of something appropriately threatening for a moment, then slowly deflated. It wasn't like Adam was a violent person or particularly intimidating.] -I'll have strong words with him.

[When Ronan said he deserved happiness too, someone that got how good he was, Adam's ears went pink and he ducked his head, even though there was no one to see him blush.]

Maybe I'll find someone, some day.

[But for now, maybe it was easier to focus on his studies...or maybe he'd end up surprised and he'd find someone who was good for him sooner than he thought.]

[threesecrets]

Yeah? Man, that'd be-- it'd be really good.

[Ronan laughs warmly at Adam's attempt at a threat, smiling a little bit helplessly when the attempt deflates. They might be exs, but Adam was still really cute sometimes.]

Really, if our track record is anything to go by.. I'm probably more likely to hurt him. But I'm trying. I don't want to. I don't want it to be like before. I wanna-- I wanna do things better. I didn't know how back then, but I've had some help figuring it out since then.

[There's a smile on his mouth that carries on his voice, the implication being that even if they hadn't stayed together, that trying to love Adam Parrish had at least made him more capable of it.]

I'm sure it'll happen sooner than you think. You're a catch, Parrish. But text me when you know you're leaving, and I'll try to make sure I'm somewhat respectable. And just.. try to give him a chance, yeah? I mean, you did with me.

[It was a joke. But well-- he also didn't want Kavinsky answering the door naked or something, no matter how hot Ronan thought the other boy was. So he wanted to make sure he had a few hours to make things something Adam wouldn't frown at from the start.]

[forleaving]

[Adam could remind Ronan that Kavinsky had kidnapped his brother, dreamed a dragon that could have killed them all--but it would have been petty. Besides, strangely enough, no one had been hurt during either of those events. Only Kavinsky.

More than that though, Adam was quietly pleased that something good had come from their relationship, even if it'd fallen apart in the grand scheme of things. It was alright; sometimes things just worked out that way and it didn't make either of them bad people, it just meant they weren't compatible, he figured. They were still friends and that was important. He would've felt lost without Ronan in his life.]

I'm not sure I'm a catch, but I'm glad you think I am. And yeah, of course. You care about him, so it's not like I'm going to- just shut him out or something.

[He wanted to try and like Kavinsky, despite his wariness. Things had ended poorly before, but...it was also easy for him to see how Ronan could have ended up in the other dreamer's position, alone and even more self-destructive, if things had been slightly different.]

And I'll text you before I leave.